Robert, it seems that you are ambivalent about the Meet and Greets. You use words like fortunate and charming, however, feeling like you are not recognized nor viewed as friendly can't be enjoyable. My guess is that you are an introvert ( body language in band photos points to this conclusion). And even though you are at ease and well practiced at receptions, such situations may lead you to doubt yourself and question how others perceive you.
So, pardon my familiarity, but, here is an attempt at an introverted rock star's pep talk. First, if anyone recognizes other band members they will surely recognize you. Second, people only have one or two minutes to say something clever to someone they admire, respect and probably can't relate due to you living an extraordinary life. They may be at a loss for words or say something insensitive. This may reinforce your doubts. Lastly, our society may value the way of being of extroverts but it is introverts that are drawn to be more creative and thrive on deeper conversations, not chit chat. Without your personality we would not have your thought provoking lyrics or your engaging harmonies. Realize that small talk may not be your forte and could stress you out. Give yourself a break. Most likely you are being too hard on yourself.
Sent with best intentions for you.